أدب الحديث etiquette of conversation

محمد مرسى
1436/12/27 - 2015/10/10 18:47PM
أدب الحديث
نعمة البيان من أجل النعم التى أسبغها الله على الإنسان ٬ وكرمه بها على سائر
الخلق: “الرحمن ٬ علم القرءان ٬ خلق الإنسان ٬ علمه البيان" . وعلى قدر جلال النعمة يعظم
حقها. ويُستوجب شكرها ٬ ويُستنكر كنودها. وقد بين الإسلام كيف يستفيد الناس من هذه النعمة
المسداة ٬ وكيف يجعلون كلامهم الذى يتردد سحابة النهار على ألسنتهم طريقا إلى الخير
المنشود ٬ فإن أكثر الناس لا ينقطع لهم كلام ولا تهدأ لألسنتهم حركة. فإذا ذهبت تحصى ما قالوا.
وجدت جُله اللغو الضائع أو الهذر الضار ٬ وما لهذا ركب الله الألسنة فى الأفواه ٬ ولا بهذا تقدر الموهبة
المستفادة: “لا خير في كثير من نجواهم إلا من أمر بصدقة أو معروف أو إصلاح بين الناس ومن
يفعل ذلك ابتغاء مرضات الله فسوف نؤتيه أجرا عظيما" . وقد عُنى الإسلام عناية كبيرة ٬ بموضوع
الكلام ٬ وأسلوب أدائه ٬ لأن الكلام الصادر عن إنسان ما ٬ يشير إلى حقيقة عقله وطبيعة خُلقه ٬ ولأن
طرائق الحديث فى جماعة ما ٬ تحكم على مستواها العام ٬ ومدى تغلغل الفضيلة فى بيئتها. ينبغى
أن يسائل المرء نفسه قبل أن يتحدث إلى الآخرين. هل هناك ما يستدعى الكلام؟ فإن وجد داعيا
إليه تكلم ٬ وإلا فالصمت أولى به. وإعراضه عن الكلام حيث لا ضرورة له عبادة جزيلة الآجر. قال عبد
الله بن مسعود رضى الله عنه: “والذى لا إله غيره ٬ ما على ظهر الأرض شيء أحوج إلى طول
سجن من لسانٍ. “The tongue and the language are great gifts of Allah. These gifts that Allah has given him makes him superior to all
other creatures:
"The Most Gracious Allah has taught the Quran; He has created man; He has taught him speech."
( Ar-Rahman.:.1-4)
The greater the gift, the higher would be its re-payment. Being grateful for it is as necessary as being ungrateful is
reprehensible.
Islam has explained how people can derive benefit from this unparallel blessing, and how the speech that I flows from
their tongues throughout the day be used for goodness and truth. People who are never tired of talking are not few in
number.
If you examine their talks you will find that most of these consist of senseless, absurd and trash things, whereas Allah
has not given men their tongues for this purpose, nor these capabilities were given for such a purpose:
"In most of their secret talks there is no good; but if one exhorts to a deed of charity or justice or conciliation
between men, (secrecy is permissible); to him who does this, seeking the good pleasure of Allah, We shall soon give
a reward of the highest (value) ."
(An-Nissa: 114)
Islam has given special attention to speech, its style, its etiquette and rules, because the talk that comes out
from a man's mouth discloses his intellectual level and moral nature, because the etiquette of speech in a
group reveals its general standard, and shows the standard of decency in their environment.
Take an Account of Yourself
Before addressing others take a glance at yourself, and ask yourself whether this is an occasion which demands
speaking. If the answer is in the affirmative, then speak, otherwise silence is much better. To avoid talking
unnecessarily on appropriate occasions is a worship of great rewards.
' Abdullah bin Masood says:
"By the Being other than whom there is no God, on this earth there is none more deserving of long
imprisonment than the tongue."
(Tibrani)

وقال عبد الله بن عباس رضى الله عنهما: “خمس ٬ لهم أحسن من الدُّهم الموقفة: لا تتكلم فيما لا
يعنيك ٬ فإنه فضل ٬ ولا آمن عليك الوزر..! ولا تتكلم فيما يعنيك حتى تجد له موضعا ٬ فإنه رب متكلم
فى أمر يعنيه قد وضعه فى غير موضعه ٬ فعيب .. ولا تمار حليما ولا سفيها فإن الحليم يقليك ٬ وإن
السفيه يؤذيك.! واذكر أخاك إذا تغيب عنك بما تحب أن يذكرك به ٬ وأعفه مما تحب أن يعفيك منه ..!
واعمل عمل رجل يرى أنه مجازى بالإحسان ٬ مأخوذ بالإجرام والمسلم لا يستطيع هذا إلا إذا ملك
لسانه ٬ وسيطر على زمامه بقوة ٬ فكبحه حيث يجب الصمت ٬ وضبط حين يريد المقال. أما الذين
تقودهم ألسنتهم فإنما تقودهم إلى مصارعهم إن للثرثرة ضجيجا يذهب معه الرشد ٬ وأكثر الذين
يتصدرون المجالس. ويتحدَّر منهم الكلام متتابعا ٬ يجزم مستمعهم بأنهم لا يستمدون حديثهم من
وعى يقظ ٬ أو فكر عميق ٬ وربما ظن أن هناك انفصالا بين العقل وهذا الكلام المسترسل! والمرء
حين يريد أن يستجمع أفكاره ويراجع أعماله يجنح إلى الصمت ٬ بل إنه حين يريد أن يبصر نفسه
ويرتب ذهنه ٬ يفر من البيئة الصاخبة إلى ريف صامت ٬ أو ضاحية هادئة ٬ فلا جرم أن الإسلام يوصى
بالصمت ٬ ويعده وسيلة ناجحة من وسائل التربية المهذبة. فمن نصائح رسول الله صلى الله عليه
وسلم لأبى ذر: “عليك بطول الصمت فإنه مطردة للشيطان ٬ وعون لك على أمر دينك “


Abdullah Ibn Abbas says: "Five things are more valuable than the ,horses with the black-striped legs:
1. Do not indulge in senseless talk, because it is useless and absurd, and I am uncomfortable from the fear of your
committing a sin.
2. Talk purposefully when there is an occasion for it, for there are many people who talk without an occasion. This is a
drawback.
3. Do not indulge in hot discussion with an intelligent man or with a fool. If he is intelligent, he will be angry with you
and will hate you, and if he is a fool and uneducated, he will try to harm you.
4. In the absence of your brother speak of him in the same words in which you would like him to speak of you in your
absence, and consider him innocent of the thing which you would like him to consider you innocent of.
5. Act like a man who thinks that he will be rewarded for a good deed and will be punished on committing a crime."
(lbn Abi-al-duniya)
A Muslim can develop these attributes in himself only when he keeps his tongue in control, and is able to keep silent
wherever necessary. He should be able to hold the reins of his tongue in his hand; wherever necessary he should speak,
and wherever it is not necessary he should keep quiet.
Those who are ruled by their tongue, they are pushed back, and in the fields of life they receive insults and disrepute.
Safety lies in Silence
One loses sense in talking absurdities and aimlessly.
Those who want to impress others in meetings by their talk, they speak so glibly and endlessly that the words come out
from their mouth like rainwater. Although they try to convince others that they are very wise, intelligent and farsighted,
but sometimes the impression created by their long-winding speeches is quite the contrary, and from their talks people
feel that there is no relation between what they want the people to believe about them and what actually they are.
When a man wants to contemplate over his position and wants to organize his religious thoughts, he runs away from
the atmosphere of noise and uproar and takes shelter in a quiet place. And therefore if Islam recommends silence and
considers it a means of civilized training, then it is not at all surprising.
The Prophet had, among other things, advised Hazrat Abu Zar in this way:
“Adopt silence. This is a way of causing Satan to run away, it is a support to you in the matter of your religion."
(Ahmed)



أجل إن
اللسان حبل مرخى فى يد الشيطان يصرف صاحبه كيف شاء ٬ فإذا لم يملك الإنسان أمره ٬ كان
فمه مدخلا للنفايات التى تلوث قلبه وتضاعف فوقه حجب الغفلة.
وقال : قال رسول الله صلى
الله عليه وسلم :
“لا يستقيمُ إيمان عبد حتى يستقيم قلبه ٬ ولا
يستقيم قلبه ٬ حتى يستقيم لسانه

Undoubtedly the tongue is a rope in the hands of Satan. He turns it anywhere he likes. When a man is unable to control
his affairs, his mouth becomes a passage for all the negative talk which contaminates the heart and covers it with the
sheet of negligence.
The prophet has said: The faith of a man cannot be straight unless his heart is straight, and his heart cannot be
straight unless his tongue becomes straight."
(Ahmed)


وأول مراحل هذه الاستقامة ٬ أن ينفض يديه مما لا شأن له
به ٬ وألا يقحم نفسه فيما لا يسأل عنه: “من حسن إيمان المرء تركة ما لا يعنيه" . والبعد عن اللغو
من أركان الفلاح ٬ ودلائل الاكتمال ٬ وقد ذكره القرآن الكريم بين فريضتين من فرائض الإسلام
المحكمة ٬ هما الصلاة والزكاة: “قد أفلح المؤمنون ٬ الذين هم في صلاتهم خاشعون ٬ والذين هم
عن اللغو معرضون ٬ والذين هم للزكاة فاعلون" . ولو أن العالم أجمع ٬ أحصى ما يشغل فراغه من
لغو فى القول والعمل ٬ لرَاعه أن يجد أكثر القصص المنشورة ٬ والصحف المشهورة ٬ والخطب
والإذاعات لغوا مطردا ٬ تعلق به الأعين ٬ وتميل إليه الآذان ٬ ولا ترجع بطائل ! وقد كره الإسلام اللغو ؛
لأنه يكره التفاهات وسفساف الأمور. ثم هو مضيعة للعمر فى غير ما خلق الإنسان له من جد
وإنتاج . وبقدر تنزه المسلم عن اللغو ٬ تكون درجته عند الله. عن أنس بن مالك قال: توفى رجل ٬
فقال رجل آخرورسول
الله صلى
الله عليه وسلم يسمع:
أبشر بالجنة. فقال رسول الله: أولا
تدرى؟ فلعله تكلم فيما لا يعنيه ٬ أو تخل بما لا يُنقِصُهُ".



The first stage of this straightness and correctness is that man should wash his hands off all the irrelevant matters and
he should not interfere in those things about which he is not answerable.
"It is the excellence of a man's faith that he gives up meaningless work,"


(Tirmizi)
Avoidance of Nonsense is a Condition of Success
To avoid irrelevant and nonsensical things is a condition for success and is a proof of perfection. Quran has mentioned
it in between two essential duties (Faraiz) of Muslims, which gives an idea of its importance :
"Successful indeed are the believers who are humble in their prayers, and who shun vain conversation, and who are
payers of zakat."
(AI-Muminoon .. 1-4)

If all the men of the world count their efforts which they make in indulging in vain conversation and acts, they will
come to realize that a very large part of the long winding tales and stories, widely circulated news, narratives, speeches
and broadcasts comprises of vain, meaningless and useless things, which are eagerly watch ed, and heard, but no
benefit is derived from them,
Islam has expressed its disapproval of the meaningless talks and things, because the superficial and useless things have
no value in its eyes, It dislikes that man should not busy himself in matters for which he has been created and instead he
should waste his life in involving himself in other irrelevant matters.
The more distant a Muslim will be from an absurd and irrelevant thing, the more high will be his rank before Allah
Anas bin Malik says that when a man died another man passed a remark about him in the presence of the Prophet that
he would go to Paradise. The Prophet stopped him and said:
"Do not you know ? It is likely that he might I have indulged in meaningless conversation or might have been
miserly in spending his wealth, although this does not effect any reduction."
(Tirmizi)


واللاغى ٬ لضعف الصلة بين فكره ونطقه ٬
يرسل الكلام على عواهنه. فربما قذف بكلمة سببت بواره ودمرت مستقبله ٬ وقد قيل: من كثر
لغطه كثر غلطه ٬ وقال الشاعر: يموت الفتى من عثرة بلسانه وليس يموت المرء من عثرة الرّجل


A vain talker, on account of the weak co-ordination between his thought and his tongue, blurts out whatever comes on
his tongue. Sometimes he says something which places him in danger, and he ruins his future. It is said that the more
one talks, the more one commits mistakes. An Arabic poet has said:
"The youth dies by the fault of his tongue whereas from the faltering of the feet death does not occur."

وفى الحديث: “إن العبد ليقول الكلمة ٬ لا يقولها إلا ليُضحك بها المجلس ٬ يهوى بها أبعد ما بين
السماء والأرض !! وإن المرء ليزل عن لسانه أشد مما يزل عن قدميه فإذا تكلم المرء فليقل خيرا
وليعود لسانه الجميل من القول ٬ فإن التعبير الحسن عما يجول فى النفس أدب عال أخذ الله به
أهل الديانات جميعا. وقد أوضح القرآن أن القول الحسن من حقيقة الميثاق المأخوذ على بنى
إسرائيل على عهد موسى: “وإذ أخذنا ميثاق بني إسرائيل لا تعبدون إلا الله وبالوالدين إحسانا
وذي القربى واليتامى والمساكين وقولوا للناس حسنا وأقيموا الصلاة وآتوا الزكاة ثم توليتم إلا قليلا
منكم وأنتم معرضون" . والكلام الطيب العف ٬ يجمل مع الأصدقاء والأعداء جميعا ٬ وله ثماره الحلوة.
فأما مع الأصدقاء فهو يحفظ مودتهم ٬ ويستديم صداقتهم ٬ ويمنع كيد الشيطان أن يُوهى حبالهم
ويفسد ذات بينهم: “وقل لعبادي يقولوا التي هي أحسن إن الشيطان ينزغ بينهم إن الشيطان كان
للإنسان عدوا مبينا" .



In the tradition it is stated: "A man says something so that those present may laugh, although on account of it he is
thrown to the most distant region between the earth and the sky. The faltering of the feet cause much less harm than the
faltering of the tongue."
(Baihaqui)
Heart-Warming Speech is a Missionary's Wherewithal
When a man has to speak, he should say something good and worthwhile. He should accustom his tongue to indulge
in good, decent and respectable conversation, because the best manifestation of the thoughts and feelings of tile heart
and mind is the classical literature, with which Allah has blessed the followers of all the religions.
Quran has clearly mentioned that the covenant which Hazrat Moosa had taken from Bani Israil also included the
condition that they should indulge in good and worthwhile conversation:
“And (recall) when We took a covenant from the Children of Israil, (saying).. .. Worship none save Allah, be good to
parents and kindred and orphans and those in need.. and speak aright and kindly to people, and establish salat and
pay Zakat."
“ Baqarah .. 82)
Clean and decent conversation impresses both friends and foes, and its sweet fruits can be readily enjoyed. It guards
love between friends. It strengthens their friendship and makes it durable and defeats all the tricks of the devil for
weakening their relations and for sowing the seeds of discord between them:
"Say (0 Prophet!) to my slaves to speak which is kindlier. Verily, the devil sows discord among them. Verily, the
devil is for man an open enemy."
“ Bani Israil.. 53"


إن الشيطان متربص بالبشر ٬ يريد أن يُوقع بينهم العداوة والبغضاء ٬ وأن يجعل
من النزاع التافه ٬ عراكا داميا ولن يسد الطريق أمامه كالقول الجميل. وأما حسن الكلام مع الأعداء
فهو يطفئ خصومتهم ٬ ويكسر حدتهم أو هو على الأقل يقف تطور الشر واستطاره شرره. “ولا
تستوي الحسنة ولا السيئة ادفع بالتي هي أحسن فإذا الذي بينك وبينه عداوة كأنه ولي حميم".







The devil is hiding in ambush against man. He tries to sow the seeds of discord, enmity and jealousy among them. He
wants that the ordinary disputes be converted into big bloody battles, and that no spanner should be thrown in his works
by means of good, decent and kindly talk.
If you would talk gracefully with your enemies, their enmity would disappear, and their tempers will be cooled, or at
least a distinct difference can be witnessed in their hostile attitude.
"The good deed and the evil deed are not alike. Repel the evil deed with one which is better, then surely, he, between
whom and you there was enmity(will become) as though he was a bosom friend."
(Ha-Meem-Sajda: 34)

وفى تعويد الناس لطف التعبير مهما اختلفت أحوالهم يقول رسوا الله: “إنكم لن تسعوا بأموالكم
فليسعهم منكم بسط الوجه وحسن الخلق “ . بل إنه يرى الحرمان مع الأدب أفضل من العطاء مع
البذاءة . “قول معروف ومغفرة خير من صدقة يتبعها أذى والله غني حليم" . والكلام الطيب خصلة
تسلك مع ضروب البر ومظاهر الفضل ٬ التى ترشح صاحبها لرضوان الله ٬ وتكتب له النعيم المقيم.
روى عن أنس قال: قال رجل للنبى صلى الله عليه وسلم : “عَلِّمنى عملا يُدخلنى الجنة ! قال:
أطعم الطعام ٬ وأفشِ السلام ٬ وصل بالليل والناس نيام ٬ تدخل الجنة بسلام “

The devil is hiding in ambush against man. He tries to sow the seeds of discord, enmity and jealousy among them. He
wants that the ordinary disputes be converted into big bloody battles, and that no spanner should be thrown in his works
by means of good, decent and kindly talk.
If you would talk gracefully with your enemies, their enmity would disappear, and their tempers will be cooled, or at
least a distinct difference can be witnessed in their hostile attitude.
"The good deed and the evil deed are not alike. Repel the evil deed with one which is better, then surely, he, between
whom and you there was enmity(will become) as though he was a bosom friend."
(Ha-Meem-Sajda: 34)
To make Muslims in all conditions well-behaved and of good manners, the Prophet has said: "You will not be able to
rule over the people through your wealth, but through good appearance and good manners you can win their hearts." -
(AI-Bazzar). In the eyes of Islam not to give a gift to somebody while behaving in a decent way and with good manners
is better than giving it in an indecent manner, and by giving him pain.
"A kind word with forgiveness is better than charity followed by injury. Allah is Free of All Wants and Most
Forbearing."
(Baqarah: 263)
Decent conversation is such a habit that it is counted among the virtues and good attributes, and one who adopts this
habit becomes worthy of pleasing Allah and for him is writ eternal bliss,
Anas narrates that one man asked the Prophet teach him such act as would enable him to enter the Paradise.
The Prophet replied:
"Feed the poor, practice salutation (salaam) in the night when people are enjoying sleep, offer prayers, you will
enter Paradise with peace."
(AI-Bazzar)

وقد أمر الله عزوجل ٬ بأن يكون حجاجُنا مع أصحاب الأديان الأخرى فى هذا النطاق الهادئ الكريم ٬ لا عنف فيه ولانكر ٬ إلا أن يجور علينا امرؤ أثيم ٬ فيجب كبح جماحه ٬ ومنع اعتدائه: “ولا تجادلوا أهل الكتاب إلا بالتي هي أحسن إلا الذين ظلموا منهم" . وعظماء الرجال يلتزمون فى أحوالهم جميعا ألا تبدو منهم
لفظة نابية ٬ ويتحرجون مع صنوف الخلق ٬ أن يكونوا سفهاء أو متطاولين. روى مالك أنه بلغه عن
يحيى بن سعيد أن عيسى عليه السلام مرَّ بخنزير على الطريق ٬ فقال له: أنفذ بسلام ! فقيل له:
تقول هذا لخنزير؟ فقال: إنى أخاف أن أعود لسانى النطق بالسوء !

Allah has commanded us to adopt decent and serious manners of speaking when we may discuss matters with the
followers of other religions. It should not have intensity nor heat and anger. However those who are , aggressive against
us, it is necessary to put a stop to their aggression
“ And argue not with the People of the Book unless it be in r away) that is better, save with such of them as do
wrong."
“Ankabut.. 46)
Great men always take care in all conditions that no extra and useless word comes out of their mouth, and they do not
adopt an attitude of pride and foolishness with every specie of creatures.
Malik has reported that Yahya bin Saeed has told him that Hazrat Issa (Christ) one day passed by a pig, and he
addressed it: "Pass on peacefully." He was asked: "You talk to a pig in this manner !" He replied: "I am afraid my
tongue may not be habituated to rude talk
The Answer to the Uneducated is Silence

ومن الناس من يعيش صفيق
الوجه شرس الطبع لا يحجزه عن المباذل يقين ٬ ولا تلزمه المكارم مروءة ٬ ولا يبالى أن يتعرض
للآخرين بما يكرهون ٬ فإذا وجد مجالا يشبع فيه طبيعته النزقة الجهول ٬ انطلق على وجهه لا ينتهى
له صياح ٬ ولا تنحبس له شِرَّة . والرجل النبيل لا ينبغى أن يشتبك فى حديث مع هؤلاء ٬ فإن
استثارة نزقهم فساد كبير ٬ وسد ذريعته واجب ٬ ومن ثم شرع الإسلام مداراة السفهاء
حدث أو وقف رجل من أولئك الجهال أمام بيت الرسول يريد الدخول ٬ فرأى النبى أن يحاسنه حتى
صرفه ٬ ولم يكن من ذلك بدُّ فالحلم فدامُ السفيه ولو تركه يسكب ما فى طبيعته الفظة لسمع
ما تتنزه عنه أذناه !! وعن عائشة قالت : استأذن رجل على رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم
فقال: “بئس أخو العشيرة هو" فلما دخل انبسط إليه وألان له القول فلما خرج قلت: يا رسول الله ٬
حين سمعت الرجل قلت كذا وكذا ٬ ثم تطلقت فى وجهه وانبسطت إليه ! فقال: يا عائشة متى
عهدتنى فاحشا؟ إن من شر الناس عند الله تعالى منزلة يوم القيامة ٬ من تركة الناس اتقاء فحشه

Some people remain ill-mannered. hot-tempered and lewd-talkers for the whole of their lives. Their faith and belief are
not at all disturbed by these evils, nor does their morality admonish them on their attitude. They have no hesitation in
telling others things which are disagreeable to them. Whenever they find a suitable field to let off their steam, their
tongues run away with vulgar and obscene talks like rein less steeds. No cries stop them nor does any voice inhibit
them.
The attitude of a gentleman with such people should, be that he should not engage himself in any discussion with them,
because any provocation would lead to great disturbance, and it is necessary to seal this source or trouble. For this
reason Islam has commanded to ignore the foolish and unwise people.
Once one of these illiterate persons stood at the door of the Prophet's house with a view to entering it. The kind
Prophet treated him very decently and managed to persuade him to go away. There was no other go besides this, for
tolerance and forbearance is the cloth by which the uneducated and the fool can be gagged. Had the Prophet allowed
him to do whatever he intended to do, then he would have had to hear all the drivel and the rubbish talk from which his
ears thus remained safe.
Hazrat Ayesha says that one man sought the Prophet's permission to enter the house, and the Prophet
remarked: "What a bad man is he of his family !" When he came in, the Prophet talked to him pleasantly and
softly. After he went away, she asked him 'O Messenger of Allah! You heard this man talking in this way, yet
there was no sign of perturbation on your face, on the contrary you talked to him pleasantly ?" The Prophet
replied: "O Ayesha ! when did you hear me talking vulgarly? On the Day of Judgment before Allah the worst
man would be the one for avoiding whose vulgar talk people stopped meeting him,"
. وهذا مسلك تصدقه التجارب ٬ فإن الرجل لا يسوغ أن يفقد خُلُقه مع من لا خُلُق له . ولو أنه
شغل بتأديب كل جهول يلقاه لأعيته الحِيلُ من كثرة ما سوف يلقى . ولذلك عد القرآن الكريم فى
أوائل الصفات التى يتحلى بها عباد الرحمن ٬ هذه المداراة العاصمة : “وعباد الرحمن الذين يمشون
على الأرض هونا وإذا خاطبهم الجاهلون قالوا سلاما" .

This policy is such that its truth is borne out by our daily experiences, for how can a man like that could tarnish his
good manners by hobnobbing with a bad mannered person? If he starts teaching manners to every uneducated and
foolish person, then his life will become a bundle of troubles, For this reason, the holy Quran, while listing the qualities
of Allah's slaves, has first mentioned this tolerance of theirs:
"And the slaves of (Allah) Most Gracious are those who walk on the earth in humility, and when the ignorant
address them, they say.. 'Salam." {Peace)",
(AI-Furqan.. 63)


“وإذا سمعوا اللغو أعرضوا عنه وقالوا لنا
أعمالنا ولكم أعمالكم سلام عليكم لا نبتغي الجاهلين" . وقد يكظم الإنسان غيظه مرة أو مرتين ثم
ينفجر . بيد أن المطلوب من المسلم الفاضل ٬ أن يطاول الأذى أكثر من ذلك حتى لا يدع الشر
يسيطر على الموقف آخر الأمر . عن سعيد بن المسيب قال: “بينما رسول الله صلى الله عليه
وسلم جالس فى أصحابه وقع رجل بأبى بكر ٬ فآذاه ٬ فصمت عنه أبو بكر ٬ ثم آذاه الثانية فصمت
عنه ٬ ثم آذاه الثالثة ٬ فانصرف أبو بكر رضى الله عنه ٬ فقال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم . .
فقال أبو بكر:
أوجدت على يا رسول الله ؟ قال : لا ٬ ولكن نزل مَلَكَ من السماء يكذبه بما قال ٬ فلما انتصرت ٬ ذهب
الملك ٬ وقعد الشيطان ٬ فلم أكن لأجلس إذ قعد الشيطان “ . ومداراة السفهاء لا تغنى قبول
الدنية ٬ فالفرق بين الحالين بعيد! الأولى ضبط النفس أمام عوامل الاستفزاز ٬ ومنعها طوعا أو كرها
من أن تستجيشها دواعى الغضب وإدراك الثأر . أما الأخرى فهى بلادة النفس ٬ واستكانتها إلى
الهون ! وقبولها مالا يرضى به ذو عقل أو مروءة . وقد أعلن القرآن محبته لمداراة السفهاء وكراهيته
لقبول الدنية: “لا يحب الله الجهر بالسوء من القول إلا من ظلم وكان الله سميعا عليما ٬ إن تبدوا
خيرا أو تخفوه أو تعفوا عن سوء فإن الله كان عفوا قديرا" . ومن الضمانات التى اتخذها الإسلام
لصيانة الكلام عن النزق والهوى تحريمه الجدل ! وسدُّه لأبوابه ٬ حقا كان أو باطلا. ذلك أن هناك
أحوالا تستبد بالنفس ٬ وتغرى بالمغالبة ٬ وتجعل المرء يناوش غيره بالحديث ٬ ويصيد الشبهات التى
تدعم جانبه ٬ والعبارات التى تروج حجته ٬ فيكون حب الانتصار عنده أهم من إظهار الحق ٬ وتبرز طبائع
العناد والأثرة فى صور منكرة ٬ لا يبقى معها مكان لتبيُّن أو طمأنينة !! والإسلام ينفر من هذه
الأحوال ويعدُّها خطرا على الدين والفضيلة. قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : “مَن ترك
المراء وهو مبطل بُنى له بيت فى ربض الجنة ٬ ومن تركة وهو محق بُنى له فى وسطها ٬ ومن
حسن خلقه بُنى له فى أعلاها. “


وهناك أناس أوتوا بسطة فى ألسنتهم ٬ تغريهم بالاشتباك مع العالم والجاهل ٬ وتجعل الكلام لديهم
شهوة غالبة ٬ فهم لا يملونه أبدا . وهذا الصنف إذا سلط ذلاقته على شئون الناس أساء ٬ وإذا
سلطها على حقائق الدين شوّه جمالها وأضاع هيبتها . وقد سخط الإسلام أشد السخط على هذا
الفريق الثرثار المتقعّر. قال النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم : “إن أبغض الرجال إلى الله الألد الخصم
“ . وقال: “ما ضل قوم بعد هدى كانوا عليه إلا أوتوا الجدل" . هذا الصنف لا يقف ببسطة لسانه عند
حد ٬ إنه يريد الكلام فحسب ٬ يريد أن يباهى به ويستطيل ٬ إن الألفاظ تأتى فى المرتبة الأولى ٬
والمعانى فى المرتبة الثانية ٬ أما الغرض النبيل ٬ فربما كان له موضوع أخير ٬ وربما عزَّ له موضع ٬
وسط هذا الصخب. ولقد حدث أن واحدا من أولئك الأغرار وفد إلى النبى صلى الله عليه وسلم “
.. عليه شارة حسنة" فجعل النبى لا يتكلم بكلام إلا كلفته نفسه أن يأتى بكلام يعلو كلام النبى
صلى الله عليه وسلم !! فلما انصرف ٬ قال رسول الله صلى الله عليه وسلم : “إن الله لا يحب
هذا وأضرابه ٬ يلوون ألسنتهم للناس لى البقر بلسانها المرعى ٬ كذلك يلوى الله تعالى ألسنتهم
ووجوههم فى النار". والجدال فى الدين ٬ والجدال فى السياسة ٬ والجدال فى العلوم والآداب ٬
عندما يتصدى له هذا النفر من الأدعياء البلغاء ٬ يفسد به الدين ٬ وتفسد السياسة والعلوم والآداب ٬
ولعل السبب فى الانهيار العمرانى ٬ والتحزب الفقهى ٬ والانقسام الطائفى ٬ وغير ذلك مما أصاب
الأمة الإسلامية ٬ هو هذا الجدل الملعون فى حقائق الدين ٬ وشئون الحياة. والجدل أبعد شيء عن
البحث النزيه والاستدلال الموفق.



وروى عن عدد من الصحابة ٬ قالوا : خرج علينا رسول الله يوما ونحن نتمارى فى شيء من أمور
الدين . فغضب غضبا شديدا لم يغضب مثله ٬ ثم انتهرنا فقال: مهلا يا أمة محمد ٬ إنما هلك من كان
قبلكم بهذا ٬ ذروا المراء لقلة خيره ٬ ذروا المراء فإن المؤمن لا يُمارى ٬ ذروا المراء فإن الممارى قد
تمت خسارته ذروا المراء فكفى إثما ألا تزال مماريا. ذروا المراء فإن الممارى لا أشفع له يوم
القيامة. ذروا المراء فأنا زعيم بثلاثة أبيات فى الجنة ٬ رياضا ٬ ووسطها ٬ وأعلاها لمن ترك المراء وهو
صادق ٬ ذروا المراء ٬ فإن أول ما نهانى عنه ربى بعد عبادة الأوثان المراء" . وللناس مجالس يتجاذبون
أطراف الحديث فيها ٬ والإسلام يكره مجالس القاعدين ٬ الذين يقضون أوقاتهم فى تسقط الأخبار
وتتبع العيوب ٬ لأن لهم فضول أموال يستريحون فى ظلها ٬ وليسوا يجدون شغلا إلا فى التسلِّى
بشئون الآخرين. “ويل لكل همزة لمزة ٬ الذي جمع مالا وعدده ٬ يحسب أن ماله أخلده ٬ كلا لينبذن
في الحطمة ٬ وما أدراك ما الحطمة" . وقد فشا فى عصرنا هذا جلوس الجماهير فى النوادى
والمشارب . وتلك آفة أصابت المجتمع بعلل شتى ٬ وقد كثرت فى المدائن والقرى لغير ضرورة
مشروعة. وفى الحديث: “إياكم والجلوس فى الطرقات. قالوا: يا رسول الله ٬ ما لنا بد من مجالسنا.
نتحدث فيها. قال: إذا أبيتم إلا المجلس فأعطوا الطريق حقه. قالوا: وما حقه يا رسول الله؟ قال:
غض البصر ٬ وكف الأذى ٬ ورد السلام ٬ والأمر بالمعروف ٬ والنهى عن المنكر




Man swallows his anger once, twice, but later on he bursts.
But a well-behaved Muslim is expected by Islam to tolerate more troubles and adversities, so that consequently the evil
should not be able to stand firmly on its ground.
Sa'eed bin Musayyeb says: "When the Prophet was sitting with his companions one person used insulting words
against Hazrat Abu Bakr, causing him pain, but Abu Bakr was silent, For the second time also he used the bitter
words against him, and still Abu Bakr was silent. When for the third time he hurt him with his tongue, Abu
Bakr tried to answer him, The Messenger of Allah got up. Abu Bakr asked him: 'Are you displeased with me, O
Messenger of Allah ?' The Prophet replied: 'No, but from the heaven an angel had come down and he was
denying that man's talk, and when you started to answer that man, the angel went away and the devil sat down.
And I cannot sit where the devil is sitting"
(Abu Daud)
To pay respect to the foolish and unintelligent people does not mean that their low and superficial acts should also be
accepted. In these two conditions there is a very great difference.
The first thing means that man should have control over his self in the presence of folly and unintelligence, and he
should not give them a chance to show their true I nature which is the bearer of anger and wrath, and be provoked to
take revenge.
While the second aspect has quite the contrary sense.
In that condition it amounts to allow the self to submit to folly, meanness and disrepute, and to accept those low things
which no wise and decent man would be ready to accept.
The holy Quran has treated the subject of respect to ! the unintelligent people and the hatred of their low and mean acts
in this manner :
“ Allah does not like that evil should be noised t abroad in public speech, except where injustice ha; been done; for
Allah is He Who hears and knows all things. Whether you express a good deed or conceal it or cover evil with
pardon, verily Allah does blot out (sins) and has power (in the judgment of values)"
( An-Nissa.. 148-149)
Avoid Polemic
The commands that Islam issued to keep the tongue safe from baseless and absurd things is to declare polemical
discussion and controversial debating and to shut its doors upon Muslims, irrespective of whether the polemical
debating is correct or otherwise.
It is so because here such conditions arise that a man tries to score a point and to overcome his opponent. As he wants
to defeat his adversary by his talk, he takes the support of even dubious and unreliable things which can strengthen his
argument, and he quotes such statements unhesitatingly which help him in his task. In such a gathering people give
more Importance to winning than on expressing truth. This is likely to result in rancor and disturbances, in which
clarification and satisfaction have no place.
Islam hates all these conditions and considers them a danger for the religion and morality.
The Prophet has said:
"He who has given up controversial discussion in senseless and false matters, for him there will be built a house
in the lower section of the Paradise; and he who has corrected his morals, for him there will be built a house in
the upper section of the Paradise."
(Abu Daud)
There are some people whom Allah has gifted the power of tongue and has made them expert in that line. This prompts
them to exercise their expertise over all people, educated or uneducated. It becomes a burning desire in their hearts, and
they do not rest content with out satisfying this desire.
When this group makes others a victim of their power of speech and shows their expertise, they hurt their feelings, and
when this quality is required to be employed in expressing the religious realities then all the beauty and grandeur of
their speech vanishes.
Islam is extremely displeased with non-sense talkers who shout at the top of their voices, and admonish them very
severely.
The Prophet has said: "Before Allah the most hated are the quarrelsome debaters."
(Bukhari)
In another tradition it is stated:
"After receiving guidance no community went astray and did not deviate from the path it was following, except
when debaters turned them away from it."
(Tirmizi)
On account of the speed of its tongue, this group does not stay within the limits. It goes on talking, feels conceited and
struts along. For this group the position of words is of first importance, their meaning takes the second place. As
regards the great and clean purpose, many times it is demoted to the last place, and sometimes in this hullabaloo it
does not get any place at all.
It is narrated that once a deceitful man, wearing beautiful clothes, went in the presence of the Prophet and during
conversation raised his voice higher than the voice of the Prophet. When he went away, the Prophet said:
"Allah does not like people of this type. They work their tongue in the way a cow does when it chews the cud. In
the same way Allah will twist their faces and mouths on the Doomsday in the fire of hell."
(Tibrani)
When in the fields of religion, politics and other branches of learning the so called orators and expert writers come
forward for indulging in polemics and debates, then the spirit of religion receives a setback. The face of politics,
learning and sciences is disfigured. And possibly this helped in hastening the decline of our civilization and culture, in
the formation of group of the schools of “Fiqh", division of the Ummah on the sectarian basis and other diseases of
disruption. In other matters of religion and worldly affairs also this controversial debating spread its poison.
Controversial debating is worlds away from pure, clean discussion, and sober and pleasant argumentation.
A number of companions of the Prophet have reported that once they were discussing and debating some religious
point, when the Prophet arrived; he was terribly angry. He was never seen so angry before. He admonished them and
said:
"Stay put, O Ummah of Muhammed! Nations before you were destroyed by this only. Give up this debating.
The portion of good is very little in it. Give up this discussion and argumentation, for this is not a quality of a
Momin. Avoid this polemic and disputation, for the loss sustained by one who indulges in it becomes complete.
For your being a sinner it is sufficient that you are a debater. Give up this debating, because on the Day of
Resurrection there will be none to intercede for the debater. Wash off your hands of this wicked habit, for in
Paradise I will lead only to three kinds of houses, its lower floor, middle floor and the upper floor, which will be
for that man who has given up debating truthfully and with good intention. Keep away from this bad habit
because after idolatry, the first thing that my Lord has forbidden is this very debating."
(Tibrani)
Such gatherings of men are arranged where novel and attractive talks drive men towards them. Islam dislikes such
gatherings, where people sit and waste their time, and where people always lap up news and defects of others. They
have wealth in excess under whose shadow they try to have good time. They have no other work beside this that they
seek pleasure in the affairs of other people.
"Woe to every (kind of) scandal-monger and backbiter, who piles up wealth and lays it by, thinking that his wealth
would make him last for ever! By no means I He will be sure to be thrown into that which breaks to pieces."
(Humaza: 1-4)
In modern times such gathering in clubs are the order of the day.
This is a calamity that has caused the society to be infected with a number of diseases. This calamity is found in
abundance in big towns and small cities, even though there is no religious necessity for this thing.
It is mentioned in the hadith :
"Avoid sitting on the roads." The people said: "O Messenger of Allah! What would happen to our those
gatherings without which there would be no life for us." He said: "If you insist on having gathering, then do due
justice to them." People asked: "What is their due, O Messenger of Allah." He answered: "To keep your eyes
down, to remove harmful things, to give answer to salutation, to command performance of good things and to
prevent commitment of evil things."
(Muslim
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